Rachel Held Evans
**UPDATE: A shorter version of this story made it into Rachel’s book “Searching For Sunday“, so keep an eye out for it! So grateful to her for sharing so many important stories.
Since our little church Cove closed in May 2013, I have been wanting to write about it. Once I got past the shock, heartbreak and frustration… I felt this seed of hope and gratefulness welling up inside of me, until I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I kept feeling God asking me to write about it, but it was always, “Soon. Not yet but soon.”
Then we went to the GCN Conference in Chicago (my thoughts about our experience here) and I had the pleasure of meeting Rachel Held Evans in the flesh, as she was one of the keynote speakers. It was a fleeting moment of the weekend that I found myself sharing with her what happened with Cove, and she asked me to write a guest post about it. After believing I had misheard her, I enthusiastically nodded my head and began thanking God in advance that He arranged the story to come out in this way. On her blog. For her thousands of readers and 38.7K Twitter followers to see. What a tribute to these people of Cove and their real love.
So often there have been stories of LGBT members being kicked out of their churches, and this one is so different. It needs to be heard.
She posted the story yesterday morning, and I have since been blown away by the amount of positive encouragement people have gotten from it, and how they have responded. [Not to mention the 1600+ Facebook shares????]
For such a small church in a suburb of a Canadian city – this is a BIG DEAL. At least… to me it is. I wanted to tell this story for all my LGBT brothers and sisters who are losing faith in the church, and more importantly – in God. There is hope, friends! God is FOR you. Just give his people a chance to prove that. Just like these beautiful people did. I am in awe at this kind of love lived out in such a real way.
This is God’s story of hope, and of unconditional love, and I truly hope that comes through.
What an honor.
Rachel, my sister in Christ, I cannot thank you enough.
January 9 – 12, 2014 of this year, we were fortunate enough to go to our third GCN [Gay Christian Network] Conference. Every year it changes location to a different major city in the US – this year was Chicaaaaaaago! While no one could have planned the Polar Vortex-thingie…. the amount of love and warmth created by this absolutely beautiful community was more than enough to keep everyone warm. Plus… I brought a really thick scarf.
I am always blown away by the experience of a GCN Conference, and this year was no different, if not even moreso!
Even today, a few weeks after returning, I am still unpacking all the amazing moments we had there. I honestly can’t even remember all the awesomeness that happened throughout those few days, but man, I came home with a soul overflowing with encouragement, hope, and thankfulness. Below is a pic of the group at one of the sessions during worship.
This year was GCN’s biggest conference ever, with over 700 people in attendance. There were barely any free seats! What AMAZES me…. is that these people go out of their way to be there – take holidays, pay for flights from all over the world, work all year to save up – because they just want to worship God in a safe place with their friends and the one they love. When we walked into the sanctuary, God’s presence and peace that filled the room was palpable. It was truly a humbling experience. There is not even a smidgen of fakeness [?] that comes so often with other “Christian conferences”. This is the one place everyone can truly be real, and it is such an amazingly beautiful thing. I wish there was another word for beautiful, I would use it!!
Here are a few things that stood out for me [and Tams]…. I will post pics to coincide, so it isn’t just a block of boring text. Yawn. (Although, if you have made it this far, CONGRATS!)
The night before we flew out of Seattle, the amazing Linda & Rob Robertson invited us to stay overnight so we could all go to the airport in the morning. What a fun night of chatting, eating pizza, and just so much encouragement. We love them so much!!
First thing once we made it to the hotel in downtown Chicago, was the Women’s Retreat. I just loved running into everyone that first day – this being our third year, it feels more and more like we just meet up with our huge family that keeps getting bigger! It’s the absolute BEST family reunion in the world. Depending on who you know in the GCN circles, you may recognize the likes of Wendy Gritter, Kathy Baldock and Lisa Salazar in the below group shot. Three amazing women we are proud to call our friends!
Here’s a shot of the group who made it to the Women’s Retreat – awesome amount of ladies for it only being the second year! What a great time of encouragement, getting to meet some new ladies, and a great way to start the conference!
We had some time before the first main session, so a bunch of us went back to our hotel room and did what only makes sense – ordered Chicago deep-dish pizza of course!
Oh my wife is so incredibly adorable. 😉
While a bunch of us were piled on our two beds and sitting on the floor, sharing pieces of this crazy thick pizza, and catching up on things that happened since the last GCN Conference… I was just so… happy. Through this ministry of GCN, we have made so many authentic and lasting friendships, it truly amazes me. I love these people so much! 🙂
The first main session that night was Rev. Christine Wiley – who, along with her husband, ministers at a huge church in Washington, DC. I am sorry, but SHE WAS AWESOME! I loved what she had to say, and I LOVE how she said it! She is a powerhouse, and what her and her husband have done in support of the LGBT community is unbelievable. She was challenging everyone – are we being our most authentic selves today? For Jesus and for the world? One thing she said that really stayed with me was this:
“There is in every person, something that waits for the sound of the genuine.”
– Rev. Christine Wiley
The next day was the first full day of the conference – and MAN was it full! Linda and Rob Robertson had their keynote that morning, which started off with the animated short I was able to help them out with. For the full story on that, please read my previous post: “Just Because He Breathed: The Animation”. Here is a shot someone took of it playing on the big screen.
Here is a pic I like to call “The Robertson Posse” – taken right before they took the stage for their keynote.
Us with their daughter – and now our new bff – Lindsey! Darnit, the whole family is just amazing! 🙂
OH MY WORD. There was not a dry eye in the entire 700+ people that surrounded us as we all listened intently to their beautiful and tragic story of their son Ryan. They are just so full of love and vulnerability, and are so completely committed to loving the gay Christian community, it blows me away. So many people identified with their story, since coming out can not only be hard on the gay person, it of course is hard on the family.
But reconciliation is possible, if we all put love first, and that is the hope in this story.
THAT was another amazing thing from this year different from other years – the amount of parents that came to GCN, in support of their gay children, or wanting to know more and how to love better. SO amazing!
What really grabbed my heart out of my chest, was all the parents wore “Free Mom Hugs” or “Free Dad Hugs” throughout the entire conference. My own struggles with my parents and my family definitely made this more emotional for me.
Literally, people would run up to parents they didn’t know for hugs because they can’t get one from their own. That blew me away. That is God. So much hurt has been felt for so many people, and how healing one hug can be. I only met a few, but THANK YOU to all the parents who came out to show their support. You will never know how truly powerful that is to people like me.
Later that day, something else huge happened for us. (Truly, this weekend was amazing!!) Tams and I had decided – it was Tams’ idea in fact! – to put on a workshop of our own. Throughout the conference, different speakers are asked to put on workshops that people can attend, on a variety of topics. Some on how to deal with your church and sexuality, some on just different faith journeys, some for parents, some were Q&A’s with the keynote speakers.
We decided it was time to share our story and put ourselves out there and be vulnerable. We called it “50 Shades of Grace: A Lesbian Love Story”.
We have been together almost 10 years, married for 3 this May – and things have of course not always been perfect or easy. But we try to love each other as best we can, and put Christ at the center – so we thought, why not talk about it! Here’s a pic right before we “went on”!
90 minutes is a long time to listen to us talk! But, amazingly, everyone DID listen! To be honest, we were blown away by the response. We had one of the biggest rooms for our workshop, and as we started our session, the room kept filling up until there was no room and people were even standing at the back! I was shocked. Even more shocking to me – more than half of the room was made up of men! I was so happy to see our gay brothers sitting there listening to us, but I was surprised! We shared our ups and downs, what has helped us from day to day, had a little break-out session, and then did a Q&A.
We had literally about 15 people that came up to us after individually, just so thankful that we shared and said they were so encouraged by it. WOW. That was worth the price of admission right there for me!
That night was a concert by Bobby Jo Valentine – love that guy’s sound! He is a gay Christian himself, and was not only talented but adorable. And of course Derek Webb – see below. A great evening of music, and a time to sit and marinate with all the great things that happened so far.
The next day started with yet another amazing speaker – Rachel Held Evans. I had never seen her speak in person, I have (like any other “good Christian”) been following her extremely popular and relevant blog for a long time. But I was very interested that she was coming to the GAY Christian Network to speak – gotta love that girl!! Not afraid of the backlash! I especially loved her distinction between not just being a straight ally to the gay community – but us all being brothers and sisters together. What a beautiful image that is! She said:
“Allies have a shared enemy. Brothers and sisters have a shared identity.”
– Rachel Held Evans
One other amazing thing she shared with us was about the gospel. If you look back in the Bible, it is so interesting to see who God calls, and who He chooses to use. I loved what she said:
“What makes the gospel offensive isn’t who it keeps out but who it lets in.
…And who it calls to lead. “
– Rachel Held Evans
Her own thoughts on her experience at GCN entitled “Unstoppable Grace” is WELL worth reading! Thank you Rachel, thank you so so much. I had a chance to meet her very quickly, and she is exactly as you would hope.
That night was sharing time. Every conference, they have an evening with an open mike, and people can come up and share what they have experienced throughout the conference. OH MY WORD is it powerful! SO many amazing stories, parents who have accepted their kids, people who are struggling and have found love in this community, people who just felt God’s presence again after years of feeling nothing. Unbelievable. Truly.
The last morning is a traditional liturgical service, which is so absolutely beautiful. That is ANOTHER amazing thing about this community – it is made up of countless denominations and faiths, even though it’s called the Gay “Christian” Network.
But the wonderful thing is – no one cares! You love God, you are here, let’s worship together!
Wow, wow, wow. Isn’t that what true church is meant to be? There was also a choir made up of people from the conference who just wanted to sing – they were amazing!
After that is the traditional ending to the GCN Conference – we all get in a massive circle for a last goodbye and chat with everyone, and they also do their thank yous and announce next year’s location. Time for some last minute pics with all these beautiful souls!
Oh and of course we did manage a couple hours of seeing Chicago before we left! Myopic Books, Potbelly’s for amazing sandwiches (and cookies!), and of course a visit to Cloudgate (aka the Millennium Bean).
I have a huge passion for this ministry GCN, I can not say enough good things about it. Thanks to everyone we met, talked to, ate with or listened to – you all made me proud to be a part of this precious gay Christian community. Next year – PORTLAND, here we come!!!