Still Stace – the AUDIOBOOK!

It’s official! STILL STACE is getting an audiobook – narrated BY ME!

Last week in Vancouver, we began recording the audiobook for “Still Stace“!

WHAT an incredible and moving experience this has been, to put my *LITERAL* voice, to my own words.

Image of (nervous and excited!) me in Vancouver on the third day of recording.

I never thought I would get this opportunity, so I’m making sure not to waste it.

For me, that has meant one thing: vulnerability. It has meant opening myself up again, reliving these moments again….truly FEELING these moments again.

I tried to stay connected to myself the whole time – all the versions of me that needed love and care. I was holding all of you close, too – those of you who have shared your stories with me. This isn’t just my story – it’s ours.

This process has reminded me how important it is, to stay connected to our stories. To notice how far we’ve come. And where we still need some tenderness and care.

For the third day of recording, I wore my rainbow “God Is Proud Of Me” shirt, (@queerlybelovedtees) because it’s been tough & raw to open myself up in this way. But I do believe, God is proud of me. I’m really proud of me, too.

We have one more day of recording tomorrow, and I’m going to try my best to stay open, connected, and soak up every moment. Stay tuned for the release date – this will be on every audiobook platform! (I’ll try not to think tooooooooo long about that, insert nervous laughter here.)

If you listen, I hope you feel seen. I hope you feel connected, and I hope you find some healing.

Never stop telling your stories, my queer friends. We need every one.

Update on May 5, 2022:

When we were recording the audiobook for “Still Stace” last week, I had to make a conscious choice to dig deep into those memories of pain and heartache and rejection. I wanted it to come through in my voice, and the only way for me to do that was to feel it again.

But as I did that, I had this visual of me today, standing beside every version of myself then – with my hand softly on her shoulder. I was finally in a place to advocate for her. For myself. To literally make her/my voice heard, in all the places where I prayed into the nothingness.

This younger version of me was the first concept design I ever did for “Still Stace”. I thought it was time for an update.

Dear Younger (Gay) Stace – we finally got the chance to say and feel all we needed to. God is proud of us.

Oscar Posters for 2022

This year has been quite busy for me, so I had less time to watch all the movies I wanted that were nominated for Oscars. I did manage to watch seven, ending off with Best Picture Winner “Coda”. What a beautiful film, I highly recommend!

This is always such a fun exercise for me – the posters will be more impactful if you have seen the films. 🙂

Let’s talk about conversion therapy.

*Trigger warning: conversion therapy & suicide*

Tonight April 13th, at 6:30PM PST, for Week 2 of the Still Stace book study, we are going to talk about the documentary “Pray Away” (Netflix), and the effect of ex-gay Christian ministries on LGBTQ people. (We also have a special guest from the film joining us!)

I’ve been avoiding watching this documentary because I knew it would bring so much up for me. (And it did.) It’s not just my time I spent involved with Exodus (the largest ex-gay ministry at the time). It’s the years and years of believing my existence was wrong, a sin… a mistake.

It takes many years of therapy to unwind that, and I’m still continuing to find threads in my life I thought were long gone. Reparative, or conversion therapy is harmful. It leads to despair. I do not say this lightly.

A stat from the film says, “A national survey found that LGBTQ youth who experienced conversion therapy were more than twice as likely to attempt suicide.”

Because as Randy Thomas says in the film,

“For many people who don’t commit suicide, we’re killing ourselves internally, by not embracing who God created us to be.”

Randy Thomas

I feel this so deeply. If I had not embraced who I was and came out, my path would not have continued. There was no hope down that road. Ex-gay ministries taught me that.

Tonight we are going to create a safe space to talk about this, to acknowledge the hurt and to be heard. All are welcome to join. Message me if you want to come. (If you don’t feel comfortable coming but need to talk about this, I’m always here to chat.)

Never give up, my friends. There is so much beauty in this life meant for you.

STILL STACE Book Study – Open to all!

Friends!

The lovely folks at Susanville United Methodist Church in Susanville, California have decided to host an 8-week book study on Zoom – and the focus is Still Stace!

Week 1 starts tomorrow, Wednesday Apr 6, and Kathy Baldock will be joining to chat with us about all of her incredible work with the LGBTQ Christian community! She is one amazing human, I cannot wait!

Come join us on Zoom!

Email myself or CharlesWhite@protonmail.com to get added to the group & for the Zoom link!

I’ll be joining for all of the weeks, and am excited to bring some behind the scenes stories and content that didn’t make it into the book!

Week 2 the homework is to watch “Pray Away“, the documentary on Netflix about the ex-gay ministry. We have a special guest joining us who was involved in the film! I will also share from my experience in the ex-gay ministry as well.

I’m also really excited to have conversations about everything I shared and how it applies to everyone else’s stories and experiences.

Come for one week, or come for every one! I’d love to virtually see you! 🙂

STILL STACE is officially launched!

Sheesh CA-PEESH. Wowie wow WOW!

© 2021 photo by Queenie Rabanes

I feel like this is the first time I’ve been able to properly reflect on this beautiful road I have been on since Still Stace published on Oct 19, 2021.

I’m so grateful that even though my book released whilst we were all still navigating the pandemic, we still managed to safely have three in-person book launches here in BC. The third and final one was this last weekend, and it was in the city of Chilliwack, where we have recently settled. Even though we are fairly new to this community, having the chance to meet new neighbours and have this important conversation around faith and sexuality was such an honor.

If you came and listened and chatted with me after, while getting your book signed, know that you touched me. (If you emailed me about my book, know that is equally touching and an ongoing pleasure!) So let’s recap, from most recent to oldest launch! (At the bottom of this post I threw a bunch of photos of Still Stace out in the wild! PHEW What a thrilling thing to see.)

March 26, 2022 @ Smoking Gun Coffee in Chilliwack, BC

I also got to finally wear my very lesbian jumpsuit that I purchased from the queer-owned Wildfang! Much thanks to them for making clothes that make me feel very empowered and my Best Lesbian Self to launch my Very Lesbian Book! (Also this was the first time I tried a gin drink, so I’m a real grownup now, right pals??)

October 30, 2021 @ Open Door Church (our home church) in Maple Ridge, BC

It was of course, very fitting to go out to A&W after to get our fav burger and onion rings to celebrate!

October 22, 2021 put on by my friends at OneTWU in Fort Langley, BC

© 2021 photos by Queenie Rabanes

Is there ANYTHING better than walking into a bookstore and seeing YOUR OWN BOOK just sitting there, on the shelf. JUST. SITTING. THERE. And even – EVEN – on the LGBTQ Voices Wall! *faint* If you see my book in the wild, send me a pic! It will thrill me TO NO END, I promise. (Also what fun to randomly sign a bunch. This life of mine, I tell ya.)

A Blessing for you, on International Women’s Day

For International Women’s Day, I sat quietly and pictured all the women in my life, who I admire, who I am cheering for. My women friends, this is for you.


Art @staceychomiakart

FULL TEXT:

A Blessing for You, Ferociously Wonderful Women
On International Women’s Day, 2022

I see you, my Black, Indigenous, Asian, Latina, Indian… all my glorious women of colour friends. May your stories, your pain, your songs, be the drum beat that we amplify moving forward.

I see you, my disabled & differently abled women friends. May you unwaveringly know that your bodies, your hearts, your souls are so worthy of celebration and love.

I see you, my brilliant transgender women friends. The light that I see shining through your eyes in particular, is made of a special kind of dazzling. The kind that catches my breath in awe. May the whole world see what I see.

I see you, my fellow lesbian, bisexual & queer women friends. May you lean in to the love that supports you, surrounds you, overtakes you. Being fully loved by a woman is a force larger than life.

I see you, my women friends who are separated or divorced. For some, those words bring divine freedom; for others, waves of crippling grief. May you feel your feet firmly planted, as you begin to reclaim your life again.

I see you, sisters, daughters, mothers, grandmothers, who are right now fleeing your home countries to protect your lives. Your children’s lives. I see you. I am so sorry. My heart is breaking. I will not look away. May we not stop looking for how to help.

I see you, my women friends who are sick or in chronic pain. May you feel a soothing gentleness as you navigate your valleys. May you find a loving rhythm of peace that helps your soul dance again.

I see you, my women friends who are softy searching for more. Who are quietly heartbroken over lost dreams. Who are desperately devoted to listening to their own voice & never giving up. I see you. I send so much love to you. Keep going.

My wondrous women friends. I see you. I celebrate every step you take, every dream you have, every challenge you overcome. It’s my privilege to stand among you.

STILL STACE In-Person Event

Okay! Friends! We have rescheduled this Chilliwack event due to flooding, and THEN a new variant in our pandemic (what a weird apocalyptic sentence), BUT NOW IT IS HAPPENING! MARK. MY. WORDS. This queer book is gonna be launched in this city if it’s the last thing I do!

(But I would rather it not be the last, I have a lot of queer WIPs projects on the go…..)

WHEN! Saturday, March 26, 2022!

WHERE! Smoking Gun Coffee Roasters, 46168 Yale Rd #101, Chilliwack, BC

WHAT TIME! Doors open at 6:30PM PST

I’ll be chatting about Still Stace, doing a short reading, and taking any and all questions about the book and my journey as a queer Christian.

We also have some great stuff to giveaway, including signed art, and some of my FAV coffee donated by our amazing venue, Smoking Gun coffeehouse.

Please grab a free ticket here, we have limited capacity! I would LOVE to see you, chat and sign a book! Bring your copy of Still Stace for me to sign, or buy one at the event! There are also some copies available locally at The Owl & the Cat Bookery. and The Bookman.

A Blessing for our beloved trans youth.

The laws happening in Texas targeting trans youth is absolutely breaking my heart. Our trans brothers and sisters (never mind youth) are already such a vulnerable community and they do not deserve this. I wish I could do or say more, & I am struggling. So I wrote this Blessing. Sending so much love to you, my trans friends.

Full text:

A blessing for our beloved trans youth. (Who feel anything but, right now.)

May you, my magnificent trans friends, know that you are entirely exquisite.

May you have the courage to block out the hate, knowing that these voices, these laws, these lawmakers – they are the abusers. 

May you inhale breath into your God-made lungs, and be filled with a profound sense of purpose. You are no mistake. You are perfect.

May you find a safe and soft shoulder to exhale all of this grief. Do not hold it in. This is not fair. This is not just. This is abhorrent. 

May you reach out and connect with the many strong hands, wanting to keep you safe. Let us pull you away from despair. Let us remind you that you are loved and celebrate your very existence. May you know that anything else is a lie.

May you feel that for all the loud, hurtful voices, there are many other voices shouting our love & support into the ether. May your heart & soul absorb every last positive vibration.

May you embrace the innate beauty of your identity, and see yourselves as your Creator does. As I do. May it seep into your bones your intrinsic belovedness.

My trans brothers and sisters, I stand with you. I’m so sorry you are continually targeted for simply existing. May we never stop fighting for your right to feel safe, at home & beautiful in your own body. 

DreamWorks “Spirit & Friends” drops!

Calling all friends & fans of the DreamWorks SPIRIT universe!

I haven’t been able to share until today – but this is the project I have been Art Directing!

A series of 2D shorts for DreamWorks called “Spirit & Friends!”

I am so proud of our insanely talented team at Doberman Pictures here in Vancouver who made this look so fantastic. 🙏🎉🐴

I definitely felt the pressure to make sure this long-standing and beloved franchise was handled with care, and working with the folks at DreamWorks was “a dream”. 🤣🤓🌟

A new short will air every Saturday at 10am on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/spiritridingfree/videos

Here is the first episode, which dropped today! (Update, it almost has 2 million views now!)

Make sure to like & subscribe, as they say 🙏❤️

More episodes have been released! Here are a few more 4 mins of cuteness!

Hear my queer prayer.

There needs to be more queer prayers in the world.

That is – prayers written by queer people. So here’s mine. Sending love, my friends.

Full text:

Hear my queer prayer. Spoiler alert: queer prayers are just prayers by queer people.

To the God of knowing, loving – and creating – ALL of my parts. Especially the ones I had to shame & hide for so long. Hear my queer prayer.

To the God who sees my grief that still needs to be uprooted. My questions that don’t have answers. They remind me, it’s okay, just to be human. Hear my queer prayer.

To the God of tight toddler hugs. My body feels heavy with love as my son wraps his arms haphazardly around my waist. Do You feel heavy with love for us? Hear my queer prayer.

To the God of believing in my desperate dreams. I know You are the one who sits up with me late at night, as I gaze into the hopefulness. Hear my queer prayer.

To the God of pure human connection. When I feel seen by another person – it feels buoyant. Thank you for this great reminder that I am alive. Hear my queer prayer.

To the God of incredible sex. You created that ability to fuse physically and emotionally, and in all of my queerness, I can say that it is good. Hear my queer prayer.

To the God of nudging me to give random acts of kindness (even if these are a smile or an ear). I see that glimmer in my peripheral of what, perhaps, we are here most to do. Hear my queer prayer.

To the God of helping me to see the best in others. The back stories, the how did you get here’s, the I’m so sorry you haven’t been seen’s. Hear my queer prayer.

To the God who tells me that simply being who I am, in my queer fullness, makes Their heart sing. This is the song I blast on repeat. Hear my queer prayer.

%d bloggers like this: