Thoughts on How to Grieve

Friends,

Can we talk?

I’ve gotten some criticism recently, that I’m grieving improperly. That I may be sharing (or exploiting) my separation & divorce to gain some social media momentum.

This criticism also said that grief is a quiet journey, not to be made public.

I would like to publicly respond to this, as I have *SOME THOUGHTS*.

First, I would like to gently but firmly push back on *all* of that criticism.

Gosh, friends. Grief is such a personal journey, walked out step by step. I think it can be as loud, quiet, public or private as YOU choose it to be. But YOU get to choose. No one should tell you how to grieve. And absolutely no one should shame you for the way you are grieving. Shame & grief are a lethal combo.

If it’s not clear on my social media (& my book), let me be clear: I feel called to share my heart. I have felt this since I was little, but I never had the tools, awareness or resources to do so then.

I share my heart for one reason alone: to connect with others. To remind others they are not alone on this journey of life. I believe when we connect with each other in the pain, there can be healing. Feeling less alone, feeling heard, feeling *seen* – these can be life saving things.

I think sometimes we talk about hard things when they are over. And there is value and wisdom in that. But I also think there’s immense value in talking about hard things *as* we go through them.

Walking towards (queer) divorce has taught me many things: about myself, about grief, about parenting, about friendships, about my faith, about rebuilding my life. I’m committed to talking about it all respectfully, with kindness and honesty. I think there’s a way to talk about it without exploitation.

There will always be criticisms when you put your heart out there. There will always be people who don’t like what you choose to say, or do. Oof, and that’s hard. It hurts.

But listen: put your hand on your heart, and take a deep breath. Remind yourself of your goodness. If what you’re doing feels authentic and true, then keep on walking. That’s what I’m going to do.

Sending courage and love to you, my friends.

Published by staceychomiak

Friend. Wife. Daughter. #Animation #artist and children's book #illustrator. Obsessor of #film & #guitar. Lover of #outdoors. Ambitious #dreamer. #Grace sponge. #GayChristian. http://t.co/bOLiy68vQ9

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