… it’s being a parent.

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Sometimes being an artist for a living and a hobby can get tough. I often struggle to get out what’s in my head, and I am usually (always) super critical of myself and my work. I don’t often feel like what was in my head was successfully transmitted to the screen or paper… but I’m learning to be easier and more encouraging towards myself! Perfectionism is a tough & bumpy road.

When I have a big deadline looming ahead (as I do now), I feel frozen and overwhelmed. I start to doubt myself and feel creatively stuck. When this happens, I tell myself (usually Tams will tell me!) to take a break and go write. It helps to clear my head and be creative in a way that flows much easier for me.

Here’s something I wrote about parenting two years ago, and this morning while on a much-needed break, I edited it. (I’m also trying not to judge or assess it!) Hope some other parents out there can see themselves in the words. ❤

it’s a small warm hand on your neck

it’s sticky items in your pocket

it’s moments of no patience, then immediate unbridled love

it’s wiping big tears away, then chasing joy around the corner

it’s overwhelming doubts if you can do this

it’s big eyes staring silently at you to love them

it’s no answers, yet all the questions you never thought of

it’s sitting down to eat, and never getting to eat

it’s deep breaths & pep talks & breakdowns

it’s playing dress-up & funny dances & being silly because that’s all there is

it’s a little hand reaching up for help, knowing you’ll grab it

it’s a tiny toddler plopping themselves in your lap

it’s no personal space, fingerprints on your glasses & stains on your clothes

it’s a rollercoaster of emotions, then a gentle gliding of a canoe

it’s never feeling ready, yet somehow you already are

it’s rediscovering soft sheep’s wool, the joy of a puppy playing & the crunch of leaves

it’s letting your soul be fueled by the small voice calling “Mommy?”

it’s holding tight onto the big hugs until they let go

it’s learning to let go and see how much they teach you

it’s that feeling that you are a little being’s everything

it’s unbelievably hard

it’s so beautiful you ache

it’s all so worth it

…………….. it’s being a parent

Stacey Chomiak © 2020

Thoughts?

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