LGBT Parenting
Seasons of change.
Last week our little house on 221st street sold. While on a bike ride soon after, it hit me how many big seasons have happened these last few years! Pets come and gone, two kids, a pandemic, two book deals, and many more ups and downs. Whoa.
I had so much fun staying up late while everyone slept, and putting a few of these milestones into quick illustrations. I’m totally not sure what’s ahead of me, but whatever it is, I’m looking forward to a new chapter! I’m grateful for endless possibilities.
Out In Faith – March 19-21, 2021
Updated March 22, 2021 – What a great time with friends this was! Definitely the closest thing to being all together, and I can’t wait for when we can be together physically again! Here’s a screencap from my keynote, and the art piece I created for the weekend – inspired by my many bike rides in the mountains. š
Out in Faith time lapse art from Stacey Chomiak on Vimeo.
Friends! This is gonna be an awesome event with my friends at OutChristian! Lookit that lineup!! Iām really excited to be a part of it, and Iām gonna do a special piece of art just for this event. I’ll be speaking on Friday, March 19th, but come join us for the full weekend of awesome speakers and amazing connection!! I promise you it will NOT be just another Zoom meeting. š
“Shipwreck Over Safety” Podcast
Earlier in January, I taped an episode of the podcast “Shipwreck Over Safety” with Dallas Verity & Blair Roberts. We had a great conversation about art, deconstructing our faith and sexuality. If that interests you, give it a listen! Available below, and also on Spotify & Apple podcasts.
Rainbow Boy – in my hands!
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsSHEESH this was so exciting to open with my kids! My #illustrator copies of #RainbowBoy came today! Canāt wait for the world to get theirs Jan 19th!! šā¤ļøš @BeamingBooksMN @TaylorRouanzion #kidlit #queerkidlit #picturebook #lgbtqartist pic.twitter.com/qCEm78GQI1
— Stacey Chomiak (@stacerchomiak) January 9, 2021
THIS was a GREAT. MOMENT. I received my illustrator copies of RAINBOW BOY, and my kids helped me open the box and see it for themselves. These illustrations have lived on my computer for a while now, but it was so surreal to see them printed. IN A BOOK. AN ACTUAL BOOK!
The book is dedicated to them, and they thought it was super cool that their names are both in the front of the book. (I think it’s super cool, too.) We cuddled together on the couch and they each clutched their own copy tightly as I took turns reading their copy. At the end of the book there’s a little picture of Taylor (the author) and me (the illustrator), and my kids said “Hi Mommy!” and kissed my picture.
And that is what I will remember as a huge WIN in my life.
Get YOUR copy on January 19th! Order or find wherever good books are sold!
Being asked to leave the table.
(Trigger warning: LGBTQ Christian voices being silenced)
In September, I was invited to speak at a Christian conference out of Vancouver. I was really excited, because they wanted to include LGBTQ Christian voices, and I love speaking about such things! Their conference is in January 2021, and due to Covid, all virtual. Because of that, they asked the speakers to film their 30 minute workshops so they could stream them the day of the conference.
In October, I wrote what was on my heart to share: owning my gay Christian story. They approved and were really encouraging about my outline. In November, with the help of my pastor and friend Bradley, I filmed and edited the workshop (no small feat), and sent it over.
In mid-December, the founder of the conference reached out to me to say that they have come to a very difficult decision: they have to cut the LGBTQ workshops out of their conference. (I believe there was one other one besides mine.)
Since then, we have exchanged emails, and had a very honest and lengthy conversation on Zoom. (Which was tough – but encouraging too. People these days tend to not want to have hard conversations, so I really appreciate that openness.) They are a fairly new conference, and I know this has not been an easy decision for them. It has caused grief and heartache. I say this because I want to point out that I donāt believe there are clear cut āgood guysā and ābad guysā in these situations. We are all imperfect people, trying our best to love each other and navigate this journey of life. But yes ā this still hurts.
I want to be really careful about speaking on their behalf. So I’m going to share their official announcement in regards to cancelling the workshops here: (this was posted on their Facebook page)
The reasons they decided to cut the LGBTQ workshops are not the main focus for me here. The focus for me is this: I was invited to the table to share because of who I am. And then I was asked to leave for the same reason. In December 2020, in (liberal Canadian) Vancouver, this still happens. LGBTQ Christians are still being asked not to share.
As a gay Christian, this strikes a painful chord that resonates deep, almost like that feeling when you bite on tinfoil. Like so many gay people, I have a long history of being hurt and silenced by āthe churchā and by some āChristiansā. This situation brings a lot of that past trauma to the surface.
It dredges up the same old fears:
Is my voice not valued?
Am I not valued?
Do I not belong?
Should I stop sharing?
On behalf of myself and the LGBTQ Christian community, I have this to say: I am angry. And that is good. Anger is necessary here. This is unjust. This is not okay.
But I refuse to use this energy to destroy, or to be malicious. I will let it fuel me towards the greater good, and I will forge ahead. Because I have and will make missteps and hurt people, and I need to practice radical grace for others, if that’s what I hope to receive. Even though it’s hard, I want to keep talking, keep learning, keep growing.
I will choose to forgive, because as someone who follows Jesus and not a specific institution, I believe itās the best thing for my heart, my faith and my integrity. But I wonāt rush to fix the hurt, because I need to feel this.
For those of you for whom this also brings up past hurts, please hear me: I am here for you. I will stand up for you. When I am quiet, and I let the fears calm, there is a louder and steadfast truth that reverberates from inside: I AM valued. My voice IS valued. I DO belong. God is – in fact – proud of me for sharing.
But. Make. No. Mistake.
I will not be silenced. I plan to release my video workshop in January when I am ready, and on my own terms. I think it may actually hold more meaning because of what has transpired.
This has happened to me before, and it will no doubt happen to me again. This is why I wrote my book. This is why I will continue to speak when asked. This is why I choose to be visible.
I cannot call myself an advocate, and then shy away from these situations. I will stand up. Because itās needed. Because many other LGBTQ Christian people are asked to be quiet, to leave, or to change who they are – and they may not have the energy or will to keep going.
I DO.
There is still much work to be done. And I am here for it.
Thanks to MercyMeās new song for coming into my ears this week: (lyrics taken from āSay I Wonātā)
āNot enough
Is what I’ve been told
But it must be a lie
‘Cause the Spirit inside says I’m so much more
So let them say what they want
Oh I dare them to try
I’m gonna run
No, I’m gonna fly
I’m gonna know what it means to live
And not just be alive
The world’s gonna hear
‘Cause I’m gonna shout
And I will be dancing when circumstances drown the music outā
Popsicles.
Last week the heat was surprisingly tenacious here in BC. My kids and I gathered on a beach towel in our backyard after they had jumped in their kiddie pool for the 76th time. I brought out popsicles for them and smiled as they dripped gleefully all over themselves, reminded that even though 2020 has been so strange and hard – they’ve had a pretty great summer. (Granted, life is easier at 2 and 4 years old.)
I drew this, trying to capture that moment. It took some tries and erasing of many layers and perseverance to get this out of my head properly. It’s not exactly what I envisioned, but it will do. š ā¤
Queer colouring pages!
I did something fun with OutChristian – an awesome organization that works to connect LGBTQ people of faith!
They asked me if I would want to design & draw some queer-themed colouring pages, to remind us all that we will once again be able to gather with friends in our communities. Of course, I never say no to drawing for a queer Christian cause!
They’ve done a great job of making the pages downloadable on their website, but I will post them below as well. ALSO. Even if you’re straight (or of a different or no faith), I think you could still have fun colouring these! š
Hang in there, friends. Sending love to all!
It’s complicated.
I almost didnāt post this.
But Iām 40 now, so screw it, Iām not editing myself anymore!
I wrote this after a recent visit with my parents. (I hid this from themĀ on social media. Because I do love them and donāt want to hurt them. But being honest about hard things is important.)
This is for every queer person who still has unaffirming people in their life who love them. Itās so hard. I hear you, I love you, you arenāt alone.
Itās so complicated.
A parent-scare + restore-faith-in-humanity story.
As a parent, you never know when your kids will get hurt, but you are always waiting for it on some level. (And when you have a 2.5 yr old son like mine, you wait for it every day.)
We explored a new place last night, a walking trail (mostly concrete) around a man-made lake. It had been raining off and on, and past their bedtime, so we took one last photo of the kids before heading for the car. Our son then decided to run up a wet rock and slipped, falling head first on the concrete with a loud & sickening CRACK. (Yes, lots of blood immediately everywhere.)
Friends, thereās so many good people out there.
Thank you to the couple who were passing by, who stopped and immediately asked if they should call 911. They called, talked with us and the dispatchers, waited with us and directed the ambulance & paramedics to where we were.
Thank you to the young girl on her skateboard who passed by, and stayed just to quietly hold a big umbrella over us as it rained. Her smiles of comfort for our 4 yr old daughter helped so much, too. (Thanks to, I think, her dad, who gave us the umbrella to keep when the paramedics got there.)
Thank you to the man who stopped to ask what our sonās fav show was, so he could pull it up on his phone to help him stop crying. (Who knew I would be actually grateful for damn Blippi.)
Thank you to the man who stopped and said he lived nearby, if we needed to take our son there or if he needed to run home to grab first-aid supplies.
Thank you to the paramedics for their ongoing work in the world right now, in this situation, and for giving him a teddy bear after he wouldnāt stop crying in the ambulance.
Thank you to this rainbow for showing up immediately after the ambulance left, carting my son off to the hospital, and making me feel all the feels. šā¤ļøš
Everyoneās fine now and home (with stitches) and we are grateful.
Donāt give up on humanity. We met a lot of helpers tonight. šā¤ļøšš¼
