Despair.

The last few days, I have to admit, that’s the only word that floats to the surface. I’ve been riding some various-sized waves since my separation began last summer. I know for certain that this is the right direction for me. But it doesn’t make it easy.

Now I’m facing what feel like insurmountable challenges just around the corner. So I retreated to my mountain path for some silent solace.

As soon as my feet began to crunch on the gravel path, I felt my mountains say, “You can let it out here, friend. We’ll carry it, we’re strong.”

I haven’t let myself sob like that in so long. You know the kind? Those deep sobs when your body shakes and it feels like your soul is coming up for air. This is so hard. But this too, is good. Let it out.

In between texting close friends for support, I took this photo because I loved how the shadows fell. Now that I look at it, I appear to be standing in a valley of shadows.

Gosh. How true this feels. I’m in a valley and there are walls on all sides. But I am standing strong, and I will get to the other side, inch by inch.

On days like today when I feel Iike I can’t stand, I’m endlessly grateful for my closest friends holding me up. Reminding me of my value and my dreams and my future. I know it’s hard to reach out when you feel so low, but do yourself the biggest kindness, and reach out to someone.

Let me pass their love and wisdom on to you:

All this pain you are in – it will not last forever.

You are strong, you are good, and you will use this pain as beautiful fuel in the next season.

We need each other to get through this life, we just do. You aren’t alone, and you can do this. So can I.